My First Car Was A Ford Tempo

It was my present for graduating UCI.

…and while I had to sell it because 1980s Ford engines really were #FixOrRepairDaily, still its overall car gestalt remains my favorite from any car I’ve ever had.

Devine Exuberance: Support Interracial Unions To Support #TrueWhitePride

I am proud of being white. I am proud of whiteness. I believe that whiteness is so awesome and transcendent that it is not “canceled” or diluted by being mixed with another race.

I also believe that God created every race in his own image. I don’t know if God is white*, and I don’t care. To my mind, God created different races through a reality I term “Devine Exuberance”—every race is an expression of the divinity of God. The fact of your race doesn’t influence or degrade the fact that you were made in his image. Perhaps God created the different races to demonstrate that his image remains Devine in any race or color: this is what Devine Exuberance theory holds.

By the way, the vast majority of African Americans are at least 30% white by DNA; they are #AlsoWhite. Supporting #TrueWhitePride means including them in that pride.

Just saying.

*Mary was necessarily Jewish; Jesus, then, was/is at least 50% Jewish, racially. You cannot be a proud Christian and somehow also be antisemitic, then—obviously.

21st Century Mormon Worldview: Sawyer Hawkins Dance Night

The Mormon Church should start hosting “Sawyer Hawkins” gay dance events. The dances are explicitly for gay male couples only, inviting all young gay Trans men to invite any cisgender gay young Mormon man they choose.

Trans men have wombs, and—because of Trans biological science—Trans men are capable of carrying a child to term; while not pregnant, though, they present as male. Importantly, to their potential Mormon gay cisgender partners, they are sexually male.

If you value conservative reactionary politics above all else—including procreation—my idea is evil. If you value procreation and two-parent child rearing above all else, my idea is a clever science/transgender “hack” to encourage cisgender young gay Mormon men to participate in hetrosexually reproductive gay marriages.

Oh, and yes, I think the Mormon Church should be open to marry any hetrosexually reproductive couple in a Mormon temple, including gay hetrosexually reproductive couples.

But then, I also believe the Mormon Church should offer explicit prenatal care and support to Trans men; the church should explicitly, through both funding scientific research and through political and social normalization, support yes all Trans male pregnancies, because yes all pregnancies are valid and Sacred. #SupportAllWombBearersPregancies

P.S. BEFORE anyone whines, “breastfeeding?!?”—I was raised on formula; children of women who cannot produce enough milk are raised on formula. Carrying a child to term and sustaining the baby after birth is more important than semantics that result in never having the child in the first place. The mantra “breast milk is best” should not become a cop out to shirk the possibility of having cisgender gay Mormon men participating in fatherhood. In that vein, gay transgender young men from any faith (or indeed, from an atheist background) should be welcome to participate in Sawyer Hawkins dances. Potentially reproductive unions are important beyond any other concern. I wonder indeed, if liberal Muslim traditions wouldn’t also welcome my idea. As a 45 year old cisgender gay man who has been around the block, I can promise you: young gay cis Mormon men will find out that many young gay Muslim Trans dudes are hot.

Not A Dog Dude, Me…

…but so not a female, either. Frankly, dog dude & female both misfit me so badly they’re just not right—regardless if I’m insulted, personally, or not…

…& then, the epiphany hit: I’m a cat. A boy-cat, a man-cat, to be sure; male. But I’m no kind of dog, dig? But, but—I has been stammering to myself in my mind—walking on four legs, carnivorous, etc.?!?

& then there was the answer; & then there was God, so suddenly: of course I am cat. Dogs write constitutions, write weather reports, write anything but scripture, poetry, declarations of their 13th Tribe.

& so, renewed & reborn having finally the solution—the final solution—to the Brian David question, in the web that is my own name I begin again.

Poet. Priest of the Incan Sun God Inti. Feline. Legend. Brian David Thedell-Luke Skywalker me. Pleased to meet you; I’ve finally guessed my name.

P.S. I can has cheezburger, nao?

Explaining The Path To Inevitable Conquest To A Bro Cat-Calling An English Major Chick As She Ingored Him While Leaving The Library Today…

This is a library; she dresses like she already knows she is pretty. Women like that—English Major chicks—well, if the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, the key to her thighs is through poetry, symbolism—sexual symbolism.

It’s easy for pretty women to find heterosexual men who notice them; it’s sadly and strangely near-impossible for such women to find men who make them notice themselves anew. Especially, as an English Major chick (hello—she in Central Libraries until they close), the “answer” is obvious to them.

English Major chicks—literature sluts—want to be soul-cat-called. God literally provided poetry and other heavy artillery romantic weapons of symbolism, so that her soul can be understood as a Kingdom, not merely a body (nor—blech!—a wonderland). Once, through poetry, you show her new ways to realize her Queen-hood, she will event-horizon inescapably demand to possess you, the implicit king to her royal reality.

Prostitutes, flesh lights, pornography—these are good ways to service yourself, young man. Romance, poetry, erotic imagination—these are how you become often the only conquesting King upon the battlefront that she sees as the true and deserving battlefield of The English Major chick: her womanhood’s inexhaustible sex, her as poetic symbol woman. Queen. Ur-matriarch, the subject profound enough to spur poetry, not merely penises.

But by all means, young man, if you want to succeed with the tactics I saw you use—that’s a good way to hookup with a gay man.

I just think, maybe you’re worth the effort of a woman-soul empire, not merely a boy’s Boy Scout campground. You deserve a woman out of your league maybe, but erotic imagination is more about spiritual Valor than the topology of adult flesh.

And as a experienced man, regardless, I know how much more erotically rewarding it is when the object of your lust feels entitled to you before and after you are interested. I also know women are different from men that way. Weaponize her spiritual and intellectual identity, and you truly become worthy of a woman in that league. Ginger, as you called her. Burning, yearning, through into the night in civilizations’ eternal institution to regency—the great library.

Poetry costs nothing; thoughtful romance costs your clever intellectual application. Once you write the literature of her, the physical book of her body is always already yours. She’s entitled to you; a queen needs must have the intimate legacy of her Symbolic King available to her.

Not a campground, but a palace, becomes where her body finds itself in relation to your literal penis.

There’s nothing better, as a man, when Whom you want wants the two of you More than you could imagine wanting the two of you. As someone who got a prestigious degree literally surrounded by beings like her every single day—English Literature UCI 1997—I can promise you, understand and follow my advice, and you will become desired and fulfilled more than you can possibly imagine. Women’s sexuality is different; all men are the same sexual animal (gay or straight); literature women are lionesses of the sexual Jungle of the Word. God himself began with the Word. Poetry is eternal. God made these women this way because he treasures them above all other women. Eve herself, Mary mother to Jesus, perhaps God’s own mother—are all Queen Regents to the Word.

Or like I say, if you’d rather practice arithmetic not calculus, with your soul dick–well don’t be heterosexual for women like her. You cannot voyage beyond the solar system on horseback; you cannot live the manhood of poetry and the Eternal Word with the weapons of Stone Age wars.

But I hope you at least try to understand and follow my advice; I suspect both you and her may deserve it.

Just some advice from #SexPositiveEnglishMajorFeminist me. You are hot, dude. I want you to win. She’s awesome at first sight, I agree—a prize worth the cost of your utterly reinventing how you understand your soul’s manhood.

Good luck; Godspeed. Fight, and win!